Anger, sadness and regret are not things you should hold in. You have to find a way to deal with your frustrations. If you don’t process that stuff in a healthy way, you will end up hurting yourself, or someone else. It sounds like something a counselor would say, but it’s the truth. I never killed anyone, but I hurt a lot of people and there is no satisfaction in it, only more pain. I didn’t use to feel that way. My prison sentence is marked by assaults. I never cared much. Yet, once I began to care, it didn’t make sense to take out anger and guilt on other people. Those issues were mine to own. Just today I found out that I will be able to get out of prison a couple years early. I’ll have to go to an intensive treatment program. They weren’t going to let me go though at first. Why? They said my anger and previous assaults on prisoners and staff were too severe. I got lucky. I guess my point is this: in the moment acting out seems like it makes sense. Anger needs to be vented. But that shit will affect you in ways you could never know. I’ve been in prison for 8 years and almost had to stay an extra 4 years for decisions I made when I first arrived. I still have anger. I always will. I choose to deal with it by finding the root cause and working to change it. Doing that saved 4 years of my life. Don’t hold that stuff in. You are young and capable and will find direction. Start by working to figure out why you’re so angry.